Chintan Jain

7 Stages of Life after Breakup


7 Stages of Life after Breakup

Breakup!! is always hard to do. Almost much similar like passing away of a loved one. But what if I tell you that getting over breakup is not tough as we think. However, what isn’t normal, is to stay in mindset of confusion, loneliness and in sad state. Following are some of the events that takes place after breakup (may or may not in order). Just make sure to be kind enough with yourself, and remind yourself daily,

“No matter how dark the day was, there will always be sunlight”.

There are few stages everyone goes through when have had breakup. I am not just going to tell you, but would also help you to understand what needs to be and what need not to be done under these circumstances.

1) Shock: “What the hell just happened?”

Well! We everyone have faced it. When a beautiful relationships ends, we might not want to deal with the upcoming situations as those could be scary, lonely, or even confusing. This stage of disbelief could last for few minutes, weeks, or probably months too, considering the fact that you have got an unexpected breakup.

Do/Do not:

Do --> prescribe yourself to things like meditation or long walks which makes you calm.

Do not --> freak out regularly, You will soon make a sense out of this!

2) Denial: “This is so not happening.”

Running away from reality and still preserving our feelings, this is what you call denial. Denying to the reality. The thinking is, you still don’t want to accept the heartbreak and thus leaving a hope for a reunion. At this stage, it’s pretty common to call up, email, chat on Facebook or Whatsapp, aiming for an effort to put a hold to the heartbreak.

Do/Do not:

Do --> open your mind for trusted friends and begin your thoughts to them.

Do not --> pretend your breakup doesn’t have to be dealt, will lead you to emotions and probably you will be stuck up.

3) Isolation: “I just want to sit and do all by myself.”

Once you accept your breakup, you get into a dirty work of sitting and recollecting all what happen. You would also sit again and again, and think where it fell apart and how it could have been saved. Over here, you might not even feel like going out, or updating your Facebook status or checking voice mails and so on. All you just want, is to sit alone in silence and just think, think and think.

Do/Do not:

Do --> take part into regular activities and participate in daily activities.

Do not --> indulge yourself into thoughts like "No one will ever love me again".

4) Anger: "I hate you for breaking my heart!"

This is the most common stage of breakup where your heart goes from sadness to literally mad. Your mind is fueled with anger towards your ex. At this stage, you may find yourself burning his/her pictures, conversations or cursing his/her friends and so on. If you are angry on yourself, you might also do a lot of self talk or may even blame yourself for all things happen.

Do/Do not:

Do --> feel, write or talk about your anger.

Do not --> act on it.

5) Bargaining: "What will it take to get him back?"

Everyone has does this, so does me. We do pray atleast once to god to give our ex back. You might even make negotiations with yourself like becoming thin/fit, or less jealous, or controlling anger, and so on. While the truth is we just want to get this stage pass away.

Do/Do not:

Do --> start creating a list of things what makes you happy and things you would definitely want to see in future.

Do not --> include that you want your ex back in the above list!

6) Depression: "I will never get over him.”

In Situations like breakup, realization is more important! You realize at this stage the worth of your relationship and finally wind up going into a deep state of sadness. At this stage, controlling or handling yourself is more important. Recall all things you use to do before your relation and let your deep feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and sadness overcome you.

Do/Do not:

Do --> make sure to put yourself into basket of all positive people around you.

Do not --> fall into unhealthy environment or behaviors (drinking or smoking).

7) Acceptance: “Everything Happens for a Reason.”

Final and most important stage of breakup and life. “You got to understand why you were with him/her, why you are not now, and that you will better than just saying OK”. The acceptance stage brings you back to the reality and slowly you will come to realize what your future holds for you. It’s time for the sun to sunshine once again and it’s time for you to feel yourself once again.

Do/Do not:

Do --> celebrate your life and fact that you got over your breakup.

Do not --> be emotional once again when you get all the feelings and moments. Just be focused in your life and keep moving towards positive path!

P.S. After listening to various people about their problems after breakup is quiet painful and thus I have thought of sharing some of the most common stages of life after breakup. Trust me, it does help!.


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